


The Letters

by Milyzia



Series: Kill for Lies [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Letters, Letters for Tony, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Past Relationship(s), Sorry Avengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 21:59:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14294361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milyzia/pseuds/Milyzia
Summary: The letters fromKill for Lies.





	The Letters

**Author's Note:**

> It was requested, from [My_Kokoro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_kokoro/pseuds/My_kokoro)  
> So I hope you like them :)
> 
> Just a warning though, it takes two to fight a war and it takes two to build a relationship. I am firmly on Tony's side, still doesn't make him right all the time. Keep that in mind!

Tony

I want to say I’m sorry for letting them go. For helping them. But you know I’m not so I’m not going to insult you by lying to your face. Or to you by paper. I am sorry though, for not seeing what it did to you. For not being a better friend, I thought you were stronger than you were, not accounting all the other shit that happened to you in your life, and I guess all the words I’ve ever spoken against you of your ego has been a misjudgement on my side. Not seeing the real you are my greatest failure, Tony.

I know we fought, small nothings that turned to hurtful somethings. Being on the run always makes me see things more clearly, and I regret every day that I never told you I love you; you were my rock, my constant, my brother. You infuriated me, but you were always there and I failed you.

I don’t delude myself that this letter is going to change anything, as I know that had it been a different time, an earlier time, maybe had you had others who haven’t let you down like I did, we would have gone back to being Tasha and Tony.

But this is not any of these times, and I have to live with the knowledge that I was a part of breaking you down. That I’m sorry for.

Never forget Tony, that you’re and have always been an incredible inspiration. You’re fierce, loyal and strong. I regret never telling you that, only now when it’s too little too late. But now I’ve said it, and I can only hope against hope that you take my word for it, even when my words don’t mean anything to you any longer.

I hope you rise up again, like the phoenix you are - always been.

I love you,

Too late but with all my heart

Tasha

 

-:-

 

Mr Stark.

I can only blame my actions to that of a child, but I also stand for being in the wrong. Growing up my misplaced anger towards you was made from a name and fear. I think when fear turns to anger it becomes intoxicating.

For what I did, showing your deepest fears should have told me that you were nothing like the monster I’ve made you in my head. When all your friends were scared of not being enough, yours was the noblest I’ve ever encountered.

But I was young, and fear, anger and loss blinded me, blame so easy to put on the man that carried the burnt on everyone’s anger.

Coming back, my fight has sustained, and memories of times with my family don’t always hurt anymore and the anger I felt towards the man I blamed zippered away, leaving me to see more clearly.

Tony, you were never the fault of my grief, you were only the victim of my anguish. It might be too late, but I thought it’s important that you know I am sorry. Sorry for all the pain and misery I’ve caused you, for ripping you apart and expecting you to take the blame for something, not your fault.

And at least, thank you for giving me another chance, for believing in me, even if it drove you emotional bankrupt in the end.

I hope I can someday make it up to you, and if not, that you’re happy.

You deserve to be happy,

You deserve the world

Wanda

 

-:-

 

Tony

You were always the better man.

Don’t know what to say. Thank you, maybe?

Thank you for ignoring me being an asshole and securing my family, not letting them suffer for what I did. Thank you for protecting my heart when all I did was stab at yours. Thank you for keeping Laura sane and supporting her when I couldn’t, even if I’m not too happy that she will be having Stark lawyers if she ever wants to divorce me. And man, she’s an idiot for not doing it.

But Thank you, Tony. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better friend, be a friend. I guess jealousy is an ugly face, I thought you had it all. How wrong of me, how foolish, how ignorant.

I’m sorry, Thank you

Clint

 

Ps. Laura says hi, and the kids ask if Uncle Tony will visit. I told Laura that if you ever wanted to, to let her know and I’ll disappear for a little while. I know this is selfish of me, but please don’t make them pay for my mistakes. I love them, and they love you – with all right.

 

-:-

 

Tony

There is another letter, for Rhodey, I hope you can deliver it for me?

I’m sorry for everything, you’re not an asshole. Not a real one, only when you want to be, but you were never one to me.

I’m forever sorry, I wronged you

Big time

Sam

 

-:-

 

Stark,

I can only thank you for what you did. You gave me my life back and I’m forever in your debt. I’m sorry for the fight, the war, and I’m sorry for all the hurt the Winter Soldier caused you. I’m sorry for all the heartbreak I, my face and my existence have caused you.

Everything the others told me about you makes you an extraordinary man, a god in his own right. They preach of love, protection and selflessness. I wonder if you’re real sometimes. The say you done nothing wrong, yet their actions and your files tell me differently. You’re a paradox of extremes and I don’t know where to start. I wish I could get to know you, see the man behind the praise and glory, see who saved me from myself without demanding anything back.

I’ve studied you these last weeks, you fight for everything but yourself, and if I could count ten men around me that’s half as astonishing as you, I would count myself lucky. But you have to stop. Stop sacrificing yourself, don’t lay down on the wire and let all the other guys crawl over you, cut the wire, Tony. There is a way out, you’re a hero, stop seeing yourself as a threat.

In another lifetime, I would have liked to be your friend. I seem to have a thing for self-destructing tiny guys who don’t know when to stop.

Thank you again,

Barnes

 

Ps. Is it true you rocked off in space to save New York? How stupid can you get? And they say you’re a genius.

 

-:-

 

Dear Tony,

Sometimes I wonder where we went wrong. Were we doomed from the start? Two stubborn idiots, always separated by their view of the world they shared. One from the future and one from the past clashing in the present where love was the only thing they shared.

First of all, I am sorry, I can see what I did wrong, but I’m also not alone in this. I don’t write this to shift blame, I write this to explain my side. And I don’t expect you to forgive me, I hope it will help you understand me. I hope this answers your question of _why_ so you can move on. Be happy.

You always showed this image of yourself, always protecting your heart. You never told me you loved me, just after everything, like I should have known all along that your feelings were so strong.

Maybe I should have. Maybe I should have seen past the façade you built over the years since you were young enough to understand what you wanted. Maybe I should have dug a little deeper or demanded you tell me. Maybe I should have found another way for you to show your feelings, feelings you buried so deep underneath all bullshit. But I am but a man, not a particularly good one, and all I know is I should have tried harder.

I know not telling you about your parents was wrong, but you always spoke about Howard that he was something worse than the dirt under your shoe. You never spoke about your mum. Peggy told me her name was Maria. I didn’t keep it from you to hurt you, to be honest in a way I thought you knew and that it was something else that we didn’t talk about. There were so many things we didn’t talk about.

I am sorry though, for not telling you. For you finding out the way you did. I am sorry it hurt you more than I thought it would.

I didn’t know it was the Winter Soldier until we both saw the footage, and before that Zola had only hinted that it hadn’t been an accident and when all the Hydra files were released I just assumed you saw the file. It never crossed my mind that you didn’t know.

But I can only excuse myself so many times, and I think we both know this was just the end game of it all, the final straw that broke the camel’s back. Because our trust in each other had wavered long before that. My annoyance that you couldn’t see the team’s individual needs, and your frustration that I couldn’t see the bigger picture. And then it’s the whole thing with Ultron.

Why didn’t you tell me what you saw? Why do you insist on carrying the world on your shoulder alone? Wanda told me. I was sick for days. Still, think you should have listened, but I know why you acted. Fear and anger make us vicious. I’m sorry I didn’t listen, Tony. I’m sorry I didn’t know you enough to read between the lines and help you out. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better man.

What I won’t say I’m sorry for, is the fight. I protected Bucky, just as much as I would have protected you if the roles had been reversed. Looking back at it I can tell you were just letting out anger, but you scared me. I also know that you were there to negotiate and as soon as the first blow was struck, we only had so much time to leave. You wouldn’t stop going and I didn’t want to kill you so I went for the reactor that powered the suit. I ripped the mask off so you wouldn’t suffocate and it wasn’t until I let the shield come down that I noticed the fear in your eyes.

Your eyes have hunted me for so long. My love for you has never faded.

You’re an incredible man, private but incredible and never forget that Tony. I wish our time together had been different, I wish we had talked, I wish I would have pushed for you to open up, I wished I wasn’t so stubborn and that I paid more attention to you. I wish I was a better man, you deserve a better man.

I love you, in impossible infinities, in this life and beyond.

 

Forever yours,

Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Please, I love arguing about films and beliefs. I've been lucky with people who commented and stated their arguments in a nice respectful way. I hope to keep it like that :)
> 
> With that said, I would like to hear your thoughts on the story, the view and how you see it. I warn you though, I will argue back :)
> 
> Hope you liked it!  
> Mi
> 
> Ps. I might read these again later and be like, screw these let's rewrite it. Just a heads up!


End file.
